Unmanly, Unromantic and Completely Unnecessary
I sat down and had a few conversational beers with some regular guys to find out what men think about when they’re on the diamond/engagement ring hunt. (See Can Men Be Jewelry Gurus?) I have to be honest…I didn’t expect the conversation to focus on “salespeople” and “trust” as much as it did. I thought for sure the #1 topic would be price, but I found out that guys want real, live help at the counter and are willing to pay for it.
That’s really cool because the people behind the counter(the good ones) can and do help give you something that you can’t buy online in most cases: peace of mind. They are your Hired Guns and when a true professional is there to help it speeds up the process and takes some of the pressure off. So…kudos to the guys in the vid and thanks again!
Under Pressure…Not!
Which brings me to the topic at hand: A lot of men feel pressure when it comes to buying the “right” ring and really not as bad as all that. I know how it goes…I’ve seen it a million times and it goes something like this:
- You are in love and spent some time talking to her and looking at ring styles she says she likes.
- You’ve found a beautiful ring that fits her style and the price is something you can live with.
- You’re standing in a store that speaks your language and you like the salesperson.
- All you need to do now is pull the trigger and buy the ring. Instead you say something like:”I think I’m going to bring her in to make sure she likes it.”
No…no…no…no and NO. You can and should buy the ring because bringing her in to look at yet another ring is unromantic, unmanly and completely unnecessary. How do I know? I asked women who are/were in the market for an engagement ring and asked them.
The Survey…
I wrote a very casual survey and submitted it to women with the help of several jewelry store buddies and Facebook fans. This is the question I asked:
How would you like the ring purchase to go down?
- I want to pick out the ring and that’s the ring I expect to see when I open the box. (10.1%)
- I want to show him the general style I like and as long as it’s in the ballpark I’m good. (61.6%)
- I’ll provide a laundry list and expect him to fill it. (Not in a mean way. I have to wear this ring the rest of my life!)(6.9%)
- I want it to be a complete surprise. I’ll take anything.(21.4%)
Nearly 62% of respondents said as long as you buy a ring that is similar to the style she picked out, you’re good. If you add the other 21.4% who want the ring to be a complete surprise then you have an 8 in 10 shot at being the man she expects you to be. Seriously…you know if she’s one of the other 17% so act accordingly.
But still…what if I pick the wrong ring?
There you go again…making it harder than it needs to be. That’s OK because I have this to share with you as well. The follow up question to the above was:
If he came home with something different than what I told him to get or hinted at I would:
- Be disappointed but OK. (54%)
- Be disappointed and mad. (4%)
- Love it just the same. (42%)
Only 4% of women will be “mad” if you propose with something she’s not expecting so the risk factor is extremely low. See? This is easy.
Go for it!
I grant you this is not the most sophisticated survey on the planet but it is telling. Feel free to take your own casual surveys as you’re out and about. Ask women what they think, combine those answers with my results and come to your own conclusion. Something tells me you won’t feel the need to “bring her in” anymore.
Personally I’d take this info and run with it. There are so many more important things to do than push off buying a ring with manufactured excuses. (For example…you can start planning your proposal.)
Let me know how it goes!
17 Responses to “Unmanly, Unromantic and Completely Unnecessary”
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Fantastic post!!! You nailed it Andy!! There’s a lot of truth in this blog…keep them coming!!
Hey thanks, Chris! I’ve been away from this too long but I’m back. Feel free to share with anybody you think might benefit. Take care!
great post ,thanks! please check out my jewelry blog!
Thanks. I did. It’s not bad at all. Visit often and stir things up! I’m good with that…
I think most men dont really want to buy diamonds, but only do so because they think that is what the woman in their life wants.
Hmmmm…I’ll have to think about that one. I think it’s true on one hand…but the idea of giving someone something they “want” is a compelling for all of us. So…if I give someone something they want…to make them feel good and loved…doesn’t that make me feel good in return? So…am I ultimately doing it for myself? (This is getting deep…)
Thanks Phil!
Hey Guys, Hope you don’t mind a girl in here!
I just got through writing an article for eHow on finding cheap engagement rings. I did use your blog quite a bit for research, Andy. It definitely let’s you know the guy’s perspective. Useful info for my next article
Thanks,
Natalie
Well good, Natalie. Hope your article is well-read. And yes…you can link to us. The more the merrier. (Even if you are a girl
)
Oh, forgot to mention I linked to you. Hope that’s ok.
Hi Andy. Like the blog, couldnt agree more. My experience was slightly different, my wife (girlfriend at the time) wanted a sapphire ring. I was told this after I picked out a diamond ring to surprise her. My lesson is let them (the girlfriend) pick the ring and the man should just pay for it. So much less hassle. Worth it in the end, she was very happy with her purchase.
Thanks, Martin. The way you say it is a little blunt…but so true. I’m glad you’re not afraid to speak your mind. This IS a guy’s site after all. Take care and good move!
Great post Andy although part of what you say goes to the core of our business. We are a “private jeweler” which means we see customers by appointment in a one-on-one setting. I think this gives our customers that very real feeling that we are there to take care of them not just make a sale as you quite typically see in a retail environment. While this atmosphere allows us to not only learn what the customer is after but also educate them it also allows us to give them a price that is generally 30% or more lower than what they would pay in a retail store. Sorry to ramble here but I really wanted to let you know there is another avenue for those seeking engagement rings to find other than a retail store.
I don’t know…you’re lumping retailers into one big category. You’re a retailer too. I mean…you DO sell to the end consumer don’t you? I get what you’re saying here…but in the end “what” a guy gives is edged out by “why” he’s giving it to her. Yes…I actually believe that.
(And don’t think I didn’t notice your 30% or more lower plug. I left it in there because I’m an open sort and you wrote it…but please don’t paint everyone but a business model like yours as “retail.” I’ll never understand why business’s don’t just say, “Here…this is what you’re looking for…based on what we’ve discussed…and it costs THIS much at our business.” A guy can dream though.)
Thanks for the comment. Really…
Talk about man-ing up! There’s certainly no harm in asking your future significant other to give you an idea what she dreams about in terms of a diamond without giving anything away.. as long as you do so months in advance – she’ll love you for remembering!
Enjoyed every bit of your blog article.Much thanks again. Much obliged.
I appreciate you sharing this post.Really looking forward to read more. Keep writing.