Feb. 2, 2023
Ep. 12 - 6 Questions to Ask Before Buying a Diamond Engagement Ring
The lab-grown vs. natural diamond debate is everywhere right now. Here's the straight truth about the real differences, the cost gap, and how to make the right choice for your engagement ring.
Part II of Andy's conversation with Adam Fried, third-generation diamond expert, gets to the heart of what makes buying a diamond easier: asking the right questions and knowing when to stop shopping.
If you've been drowning in diamond research — reading about the 4 C's, comparing GIA reports, and still feeling overwhelmed — this episode gives you a simple mental checklist that cuts through the confusion.
What You'll Learn in This Episode:
- The 6-question mental checklist that tells you when you're done shopping and ready to buy
- Why cut matters more than color or clarity — and how to spot a diamond that actually sparkles
- The GVS trap: Why everyone asks for G color VS1 clarity (and why that might not be what you actually need)
- How to shop smart: See multiple diamonds side-by-side to understand what you're really paying for
- When to stop researching: The exact moment you should pull the trigger and buy
- Why where you buy matters more than what you buy — finding the right jeweler is half the battle
Key Quotes from Adam Frieda:
"Color and clarity are what a diamond is. Cut is what a diamond does. That's the difference."
"You're not gonna walk around showing people the report. You're gonna show them the diamond. If you can't see the difference, don't pay the difference."
"If you have that mental checklist and you tick all those boxes — be done. Be done."
"Nobody's selling something you can't get someplace else. But it's where are you comfortable? Where do you feel they really care about you?"
The 6-Question Mental Checklist (When You're Ready to Buy):
Adam breaks down the exact questions that, once answered, mean you're done shopping:
- Does this diamond look white and nice to my eye? (Forget the letter grade — trust what you see)
- Can I see any imperfections with my naked eye? (If no, you're good — don't overpay for clarity you can't see)
- Is this the shape she wants? (Round brilliant, oval, princess — get this right first)
- Does the size look right? (Not the carat weight on paper — how it looks on her hand)
- Am I comfortable with this jeweler? (Do they feel like your guide, or a salesperson?)
- Is this in my price range? (Be honest with yourself and your jeweler about budget)
When all six boxes are checked: Buy the diamond. You're done.
Why Cut Is King (Not Color or Clarity):
Adam explains why a poorly cut diamond — even if it's D color and flawless — won't sparkle. The cut determines how light moves through the diamond. A well-cut diamond "inhales light and breathes fire." A poorly cut one just sits there.
His advice: Look at diamonds under different lighting. See which one sparkles and returns light to your eyes. That's the one you should buy — not the one with the best report.
The Truth About GVS Diamonds:
Everyone asks for G color, VS1 clarity because it sounds like the "safe" choice. But Adam points out: G-VS has become a brand, not necessarily the best value.
Better approach: Look at a G, an F, an E, and a J color side-by-side. Look at VS2 and SI1 clarity. If you can't see the difference, don't pay the difference.
Why Independent Jewelers Matter:
Andy and Adam both emphasize: Where you buy is more important than what you buy.
Independent jewelers:
- Build their business on referrals and repeat customers
- Want you to have a great experience (not just make a sale)
- Will take the time to educate you and show you options
- Care about your "win" as much as their own
Red flag to ignore: Thinking a nice store will judge you for your budget. Real jewelers don't care if you're spending $3,000 or $30,000 — they're excited to help either way.
When to Stop Shopping:
The biggest trap guys fall into: endless research paralysis. You keep reading, comparing, and second-guessing because the decision feels too big.
Adam's rule: Once your mental checklist is complete and you're comfortable with the jeweler, stop. You're not going to find a "better" diamond by looking at 47 more. You're just delaying the decision.
The truth: No guy wants to spend Saturdays looking at diamonds. Have an end game. Tick the boxes. Be done.
About Adam Frieda:
Adam Fried is a third-generation diamond expert with decades of experience helping guys buy engagement rings with confidence. He's worked at the retail level, understands the wholesale diamond market, and knows how to translate technical diamond information into decisions you can actually make.
Resources Mentioned:
- GIA (Gemological Institute of America): The gold standard for diamond grading reports
- Brian McCarty / Hearts on Fire: Diamond cutter who famously said diamonds "inhale light and breathe fire"
- The 4 C's: Cut, Color, Clarity, Carat — the foundation of diamond evaluation
Want Personal Help?
Email Andy directly: andy@buylikeaguy.com — need advice on diamonds, help finding a trusted jeweler, or just want to talk through your decision.
Andy's Jewelry Store: Koehn & Koehn Jewelers
Read the book: The Inappropriate Guide to Buying an Engagement Ring — available on Amazon.
Subscribe to Buy Like A Guy on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you listen.